One Man, One Mission
by Kithain
Summary: It's great to have a little fun, but what happens when your feelings get in the way? Which part of you will burn, your heart or your pride? Selvine. Post-game, no spoilers. MAJORLY REVISED.
1. Present time

Squall's voice was emotionless and methodical as he delved into the details of the operation. He sure was great for this job, Selphie thought, since he was able to deliver orders to people regardless of them being friend or subordinate.

' Roll call at o-six-hundred tomorrow. Dismiss.'

A crew of six SeeD promptly rose from their seats and left, but the group of friends fell a little behind, exiting the room slower.

' And Irvine... get your goddamn gear already.'

Everyone looked to the person beside them and then at Irvine; all but him were clad in uniforms. Selphie snickered.  
' Gimme a break. They'll never get the chance to lay eyes on me, so why should I bother?' Irvine retorted. This wasn't the first time he'd get warned, but he wasn't about to ditch his overcoat and hat just because the Leader didn't like his look.

Squall flared his nostrils but instead turned to the screen behind him, shifting and reviewing strategy plans. He never had the patience to reason with Kinneas, especially because he'd always give some childish, illogical reason to have his way. Selphie stayed back as Irvine walked past the doorstep, the tail of his coat floating behind him, and tried to imagine him in a SeeD uniform. No, that would never work. Squall would never convince him to use that straight, tight, boring outfit, as he'd call it.

' Hey Selph,' Rinoa's voice snapped her out of her daydream. ' wanna hit the shops downtown with me and Quistis?' Rinoa was referring to the city of Esthar, where the Garden was settled for the time being.  
' Actually, I gotta check on the work the guys are doing on the ship.' Her stomach tingled. ' I might even pick up a trick or two.' Ragnarok was currently stationed on the Esthar airdock, as technicians gave it the routine check. Granted the Garden was mobile, the handy dragon-like ship was much faster, and Selphie had perfected her skills in manouvering it to be as silent as a stalking predator.  
' You should come and have some fun anyway, you already have tomorrow to worry about.' Quistis insisted, standing beside Rinoa.  
' Fine, I promise I'll meet you guys whenever I'm done with them!' she conceded, her lips curling just about enough to form a smile. She wasn't going to meet them later. She wasn't even planning on setting foot on Esthar's shipyard. Her heart started to pound on her chest and she tried not to think about what she was going to do; she'd be caught dead on by Quistis, who was excellent at reading them like books.  
She was relieved when the other two girls went in the opposite way.  
' Bye Selph! Don't wear yourself out too much!'  
The petite girl took small steps, becoming overly conscious of herself all of a sudden; she was in the clear, yet she felt like a thousand eyes were set on her.

* * *

A smirk drew the left corner of his lips up as soon as he walked out the door. There was something about Squall when he got annoyed; it was that same expression he had as a kid, when he doubted himself. He'd never let their friends know, but it was fun teasing him, in a way; it took him back to happier days.

He pondered spending some time perfecting his aim at the training center but he was not in the mood for something as serious as that. There was always hanging out at the bar, or even visiting Esthar... even though he could never get used to what the girls wore in Esthar. Too tight and too weird for his taste. He crossed the Garden's main hall, purposely slowing his step; another greater, more interesting thought had crossed his mind. It was still early in the morning, so maybe, just maybe... He snugged his hat and smiled to himself, tilted rim concealing his expression. His step picked up towards the elevator; he knew where he was going.

* * *

The grand hall was a little busy at that hour, but she knew where to go. She greeted a group of other SeeD's with a wave and a chuckle, but her hands were going cold and a ton of weight seemed to slowly sink over her chest, so she immediately scolded herself for showing some nervousness.

' I need to get my act together...'  
The entrance to the training center was just ahead. It had been made fully functional not long before: the paths had been remade, there was access to the lower grounds, and a new monster system had been worked on. She tiptoed skilfully over the vegetation, evading the monster triggers she'd help set up.  
' One, two, step right, jump...' she chanted, cheering herself up.

* * *

The base floor now accommodated the Garden's parking lot and mechanical workshop. Now, he wasn't a SeeD, and I didn't really have a written permission from the leader that would allow him to request a vehicle, but... Irvine knew there'd be a way he could weasel his way out, especially if there was a girl in charge at the front gate.

' Gatekeeper Lenoir? Oh man, I'm toast.' he muttered as he spotted the back of a tall brunette inside the booth. The girl turned around and snorted at the sight of the cowboy.  
' Well, look who we have here! Came to ask me something, have you?'  
' Good morning to you too, Lenoir!' Irvine retorted. Lenoir was the only girl in the world he knew about that made no intentions whatsoever of listening to his shenanigans. ' As a matter of fact, I need to go to Esthar City.'  
' I suppose you have the request papers with you?' The girl jested.  
' I err, dropped them in a puddle. Or maybe I forgot them in my room... Angelo probably ate them.'  
The girl's smirk widened as he gestured and came up with excuses.  
' Look, does it matter what kind of excuse I give you? Gimme a break and just hand over one of those.' Thumb pointed over his shoulder to the lot where at least a dozen SeeD vehicles were parked. ' I'll be back later, no one will ever notice!' He lifted his arms in the air, shrugging, in exasperation.  
The brunette giggled and instead turned to her papers, checking her records.  
' Actually Irvine, this is your lucky day. Someone - although I can't really tell you who, old man Zack keeps messing his charts these days - requested a vehicle to Esthar City, for eh, ten thirty? That's right now! Aren't you a lucky bastard. You can hitch a hike with them, I guess.'  
The cowboy grinned. If this was who he thought it was...  
' Great, hand it over!' He slid his hand through the booth's opening but all he got was a smack.  
' Don't push your luck. Just go wait by the car, they should be here any minute now. It's vehicle E126.'

* * *

A rustling of leaves stopped Selphie dead in her tracks. Had she unknowingly pressed a trigger? She crouched and slowly stepped forward in the direction of the noise; she might as well should surprise the monster and get over with it quickly. The tall vegetation provided just enough camouflage between the tall trees.

Another rustle and a branch snapped just over her head with a loud crack and she jumped out, ready to attack... and immediately got thrown against the floor as a body twice as big and at least three times as heavy pounced on her.  
' Heeeyaww!' she screamed, both horrified and enraged, pushing, flailing and struggling to get under that horrid monster-

* * *

Irvine was surprised when he found out the doors were unlocked.

' Guess I'll wait inside... surprise her when she comes.' He grinned, thinking how Selphie would freak out once she saw him.  
He was in for the surprise of the year.  
It wasn't long before he could hear steps outside and someone reaching for the door handle. He leaned forward, ready to catch a flailing Selphie...

* * *

' Zell?' Her astonished face stared, unable to say anything, when she finally managed to open her eyes.  
The sturdy blonde sat up and rubbed the side of his head.  
' Jeez Selphie, you have a hard skull.'  
She immediately punched his shoulder lightly.  
'By Hyne Zell, what were you thinking?'  
He stood up and helped her get back on her feet. Cracking a few joints, he explained.  
' I thought you were a Grat! I've been practicing this new move and these trees are perfect to ambush them.' He demonstrated, punching the air while jumping back and forth energetically. ' It's still early anyway, I didn't think anyone would come to the training center so soon.' He stopped and flexed, suddenly realising something. ' What're you doing here?'  
' Who, me?' Selphie's eyes widened and she spat out the first thing that came to mind ' Oh, I'm helping uh, Watts collect some data out of um, the center's computer mainframe.' Her stomach churned. What she just said made no sense at all but she was crossing her fingers, hoping that Zell's ingenuity would prevent more questions being asked.  
It turned out much worse than that.

* * *

' Quistis? Rinoa?' he gasped, and his eyes quickly raked the empty parking lot over his friends' shoulders, in a vain attempt to spot if the short, bubbly Selphie was with them. Nothing.  
' Irvine? What are you doing here?' Quistis stood with her hands on her hips, questioning the off-guard cowboy.  
Irvine thought fast. If she wasn't with them, that means she wasn't going to go to Esthar. That meant... his eyes widened.  
'I err, uhhh, was gonna go to Esthar with you guys but I forgot my wallet!'  
He jumped out and sped up towards the elevator in a frenzy.  
' Do you want us to wait for you?' Rinoa shouted, waving to catch his attention. But he had already cornered towards the elevator and didn't hear her.  
' Let's just go, who knows how many stops he's going to make just leering at girls before he even reaches the guys' dorm.' Quistis sentenced, and they both got on the car and left.

* * *

' That's down there, right? Come on, I'll go with you!' he grinned and cartwheeled out of the tall grass, jumping to his feet quite a few yards away from a petrified Selphie, who felt like she had just dug her own grave.  
What's happening? Why am I finding myself lying to my friends over and over again? My friends, the best thing I have in the world? The people I... depend on? I... what's this I'm feeling?  
' Selphie, are you okay?' Zell stood beside her again, confused, as Selphie slowly slouched.  
' Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered I s-screwed up with Watts, I should have help him calibrate before I came here... Sorry Zell, I gotta run' Selphie took off as fast as she could without looking back, darting towards the exit, her feet setting off every monster trap in her wake.  
' Selphie!... H-hey!' Zell screamed, suddenly besieged by Grats and Caterchipillars; there was no way he was going to move out of there for a while...

* * *

Darnit Selphie, Irvine facepalmed while the elevator ascended. There were only a couple places she'd be, and none of them were good news. He hurried out of the elevator and towards the dorms like his life depended on it.

* * *

She didn't care anymore if she was going find Irvine in the training center or not, she just ran and ran, heart tightening in her chest. She didn't even think about where she was going, but her feet pointed in the direction of the dorms... her conscience knew she needed to be alone.

* * *

Irvine halted; looking left and right he saw a brown haired petite running down the hall... could it be?...  
A distraught Selphie advanced through the corridor, bumping into people. Just a bit more... just a bit more and she'd be able to think...  
'Selphie... Selphie!'  
BUMP.  
Irvine had taken her head strong; Selphie, barely seeing anything in her way, crashed against his chest and would have fallen to the floor, had he not held her by the shoulders.  
Her petite shoulders vanished under his large hands and gentle grip.  
Her eyes slowly opened and she raised her head to meet his own.  
' Selphie.'  
' Irvine?...'  
' I've been looking for you.' they both said at the same time.  
And in that moment, Selphie decided to listen to her heart - and she launched herself against him, arms squeezing his waist, head nestling on his chest. She closed her eyes when, after a moment of surprise, Irvine relaxed and embraced her short frame, his arms holding her tightly to himself.  
His warmth was so comforting... just like that first night...

It took a few seconds for Selphie to realise that had been a huge, stupid mistake. As soon as she broke from that hug, she could feel the back of her head sizzling with the stares of pretty much everyone present. Her body started quivering uncontrollably as if a shard of ice had stricken her chest; her eyes shot up a mixture of sadness and rage as if she wanted to blame him for everything, only to find a pair of blue ones towering over her with a painfully confused expression.  
At that point Selphie thought she was going to lose her mind. She wanted to slap him, and hug him, and break down crying, but she fought back hard to keep her emotions from cascading and flooding her reasonable coping mechanism. Nimble fingers were grasping Irvine's coat a little harsher than she'd care to realise, though; her eyes, brimming with tears that simply could not be held back.

The clueless bystander would find the scene unfolding before their eyes to be a little odd at best, but for those who knew who they were it came to be quite a shock, to see Selphie in Irvine's arms in such a way. Surely enough, the bubbly girl was prone to bouts of friendly displays of affection, but that that was no friendship hug; you could tell by the way they so eagerly clung to one another, even if for brief moments.

A couple of girls pointed and giggled when Selphie shoved the cowboy and ran down the hall.  
' What're you looking at?' Irvine roared menacingly, taking one step forward towards the small crowd that eyed them just seconds before. Some flinched, others looked away embarrassedly.  
'Selphie Selphie, wait!' he yelled in vain. With swift steps, he followed her into the quad. He hadn't quite seen her go outside, but he knew she'd be there; even though outside meant 100 degrees under the hot Estharian sun. In his mind, he only had memories of a certain night.

The night Selphie hugged him for the first time.  
He shook his head incredulously, as if trying to shake that feeling away. How was it that a simple hug made him feel so helpless, so vulnerable? He sighed, holding his breath: the sound of his heart pounding in his ears was becoming too much to bear. He'd been hugged before, kissed a bunch of other girls even. He'd joke about dating the whole of Balamb Garden before returning to Galbadia, tried to cop a feel with a couple of girls in Esthar earning him a well deserved slap and heck, even claimed he couldn't pick which friend to date. None of that had made him feel like this.

Sitting in the shadow, Selphie dangled her brown boots over the edge of the stage, head hanging low. Irvine, standing behind, suddenly felt really stupid. Was she crying because she'd hugged him or had she been crying and ran away because she thought she couldn't rely on him? Neither answer seemed appealing and it was all getting too confusing for him. Was she crying at all? That didn't seem something Selphie would do. What was he planning on saying? "Don't cry Selphie, I love you"? Nah, that sounded like a line from some cheesy movie. Not that she would ever believe him if he said it.  
These and other questions plagued the cowboy's mind as he shifted his feet and rubbed the back of his neck, standing there for what it seem like an eternity trying to fathom the reason why he just couldn't come up to her and ask what was going on. That question had a simple answer, for one. It was the events that unfolded after that first physical contact that were stopping him from approaching Selphie.

He glanced one last time at the soft-looking hair of hers and turned around, back to the Garden hall. This cowboy wasn't known for being romantic. Tempting as it would be to fling himself at her feet, he had no idea how that kind of guy ever managed to understand what was going through the girl's mind, and he sure as hell wasn't going to throw himself onto this kind of losing match.

'I'm a sharpshooter' he told himself, 'I don't get involved.'


	2. Six months ago

That night felt like it was dabbled in magic. The endless waltz, the stars shining across the sky, and the majestic moon showing herself in full pride over the glass dome.  
But for Selphie, that night was over.

She tripped on her feet and managed to stumble towards a table, throwing herself at the nearest chair.

' Oh heyyy, Quisty.' her speech was a bit slurred and it was obvious she already had had one too many drinks.

Quistis frowned and stood up.

' Ookay missy, party's over for you. Come on, I'll take you to your room.'

' It's okay Quistis, I'll handle it.' Irvine stated, standing behind Selphie.

Normally, Quistis would be worried about leaving a drunken Selphie to Irvine's care, but their friend seemed to have a rather serious look in his eyes this time. She nodded in agreement.

' Come on Selphie. Can you stand?' he asked, to which the short brunette attempted to stand on her feet. He lowered himself so that she could be able to grip his coat, and with that, he rounded her waist with one arm and started walking away.

' Ahh Selphie, why did you have to go and get yourself drunk?...' Irvine worriedly expressed his concern for her.

' I actually *hic* had no idea I'd get this buzzed so fast *hic* teehee~' Her fingers crawled along his back in an innocent attempt to get a better grip, but the cowboy couldn't help but notice how much more easy for Selphie it was to touch him, now that she was tipsy. Unconsciously, he further hunched forward, to the point that his chin touched her cheek. His nose brushed against her hair at every step. It smelled of... apples. How appropriate, the sharpshooter thought to himself.  
The main hall was deserted; Irvine knew Selphie would be thankful for that later. Luckily, very few people had seen the state she was in... bumping and tripping into things. Not that she didn't do that while she was sober... adorably so.  
They finally reached the dorm module of the Garden. It was originally built on the ground floor, so where grass and study benches should be, there was only sea.

' Selphie, look.'

The Garden floated smoothly over the open sea, with no land in sight. It was a breathtaking sight: the deep blue ocean and the reflection of the full moon upon it.  
The petite girl leaned against the makeshift balcony and took a deep breath of the sea breeze; she closed her eyes and lingered there, as the cool air caressed her features.  
Irvine had released her from his grasp, but kept standing close and facing her.  
For moments, he could see the little Selphie he knew when they were kids, running down the beach, her hair a tangled mess, giggling as she stepped backwards, clumsy feet earning her a mouth full of sand. He'd helped her up then, and he'd help her up now, and anytime… physically or spiritually. She was so different from the other girls; she knew the meaning of loss and managed to go on being the same person. The cowboy couldn't help but to find her amazing – he wanted her to know how admirable he thought she was. He found his hand placed over hers before his mind could say anything against it. Her fingers were cold; his palm, burning hot.  
Selphie didn't knew if it was the alcohol, or the beautiful view, but she felt completely alright with him holding her hand like that, for once not thinking about whether it had second intentions or not. More, she turned to look in his eyes and smiled with all the confidence that extra champagne glass had given her. Though, this was no ordinary Selphie smile, which would be followed by a hearty giggle or an amiable curtsy, oh no; this smile let her feelings and desires shine through, and it met a pair of eyes that glinted in dark blue hue, reflecting the color of the crispy waves.  
Slowly but surely, he held her tiny hand in his and drew it closer. So sure was he that she would back off, that the thought of what to do next ever crossed his mind.  
Closer. The seconds dragged on and every fraction of them seemed like minutes.  
Closer. Her hand now almost touched his shoulder.  
Then it happened. Selphie flung herself against Irvine's chest in one fluid movement, her arms coiling around his waist. Her cheek felt the cold fabric of his shirt at first, but underneath it his skin burned. Why did she do it? It didn't occur to her to think about the reason. The only thing on her mind was how warm and how comfortable she was in his arms, like she'd done it a thousand times before.

' Sefie…' was all Irvine's dry throat could muster before his heart demanded he returned the hug. His hands ran across her back and tightened the whole of her torso against him. It was an overwhelming desire to shield, to protect, to keep her away from the pain she had to endure.

Hyne knows Quistis would shoot him dead if they say them both clinging to one another right there and then, thinking he was trying to take advantage of her; but he didn't care, because deep down he had this unshakeable conviction that he didn't want _any of that_ for Selphie. _With_ Selphie.

Reluctantly, he held her shoulders and pulled away gently.

' Selphie, you should go sleep.' He said in a hoarse voice.

Her hands slowly retreated, resting over his stomach.

' G'night, Irvy.' She tilted her head in a cutesy manner and backed away a couple of steps before turning around and entering her dorm, closing the door behind her.

Irvine's knees faltered and his back glided against the wall until he was crouching on the floor. He was grateful he had his hat to cover up his somber expression.

The sun had already been up for a while before Selphie came to her senses, after having passed out in her bed due to her binge drinking the night before. Her mouth was pasty, eyelids weighed a ton, body refusing to move even though she wasn't sleeping anymore. The clothes that she hadn't bothered to take off felt glued to her skin and she wasn't sure how she'd managed to pull her boots off before crawling under the covers. Lingering in bed for what felt like hours, her mind started to revive bits and pieces of the past, picking episodes at random: the moving garden, the return to the orphanage, time spent in prison, Trabia Garden in ruins... she felt a pang of sadness and guilt. That could have been her. At this very moment, everyone there was working hard to rebuild, and what was she doing? Getting drunk and sleeping in.

Selphie rolled on her back and opened her eyes. They were stingy and it took few tries and coaxing rubs to keep them open. She thought about what she'd seen in their brief visit to Trabia Garden. It felt so unfair that she'd came through unscathed while the place where she grew up and her childhood friends had suffered such a horrible fate; it was a terrible burden on her at times. There was no doubt in her mind that she had to go back and help in any way she could, now that everything was back to normal. Well, almost normal. At least there were no more threats.

Then her mind recalled much more recent events, and her thoughts drifted to Irvine and how he'd carried her through the hallways. Her chest swelled and a warm feeling spread across as she relived the hug they had shared, temporarily blocking out her worries like the booze had done, and she found the feeling to be quite nice and nothing like she'd ever felt before. Irvine had always been a friend, much like Zell and Squall, but his touch felt... different. She wanted it, she'd wanted it for a while but never allowed herself to admit it until last night.

She had felt like a damsel being rescued by a romantic cowboy (and wondered, was this what Rinoa felt with Squall?), having been brought to safety with a pretty view as a background while Irvine drew her closer. The alcohol had hindered her concerns, but it'd been her own desire that made her embrace him. The whole episode felt to her as if taken from a movie or a fairy tale and she blushed, embarrassed with her own cheesy thoughts.

A knock on the door prevented her from further daydreaming.  
'Selph! Wake up Selph, it's me, Rinoa.'  
'Come in, it's open.'  
'Oh dear, still in bed? Come on!' Rinoa tugged on her friend's arm. 'Get ready, let's go grab some lunch.'  
'And Quistis?'  
'She's busy with Garden stuff. GO!'  
Selphie stretched with a loud yawn and headed to the bathroom.  
'Sooo... I heard you left the party with Irvine!...' Rinoa's tone was suggestive and facetious.  
'Yup.'  
'Aaand?'  
'Hey Rin...' Selphie poked her head out the bathroom door, '...did you feel like a princess when Squall rescued you in space?'  
'A... princess? Hey, where did that come from?'  
'Nevermind!' the petite girl disappeared again. 'I'm gonna take a quick shower.'  
'Did something happen?' Rinoa tried to shout over the sound of running shower water.  
No response. For some unknown reason, Selphie didn't feel like sharing what had happened. Her friend would definitely tease her, and then she'd want to know more details.  
(Do you have feelings for him? Did he say anything? Why didn't you kiss him? Do you think you can trust him? Aww, you guys would be so cute together.)  
Selphie cringed. Just thinking about the how's and why's made her feel extremely embarrassed, let alone start thinking of a relationship. Her rosy, pillow-creased cheeks turned into a deeper shade of red and she stuck her head directly under the warm jet of water, wanting it to wash away her thoughts. A relationship had to be the least of her worries for the sake of Trabia Garden, and she just knew that Rinoa wouldn't listen to her plans if she knew there was something going on on a more personal level.

'I'm going to ask for a leave from SeeD.'  
'What for?' Rinoa asked, forking her salad.  
'I wanna go to Trabia and help out. I feel terrible for doing nothing.' Selphie explained after taking a bite off her sandwich.  
'Aww, c'mon Selph, don't be so hard on yourself! There were bigger things you had to take part in, you know, like stopping Ultimecia from destroying the rest of the world.' the raven-haired girl chuckled.  
'Well, we're all back now! Why aren't we there yet? Which brings me to my point, wanna join me?' Selphie beamed.  
'I dunno, Selph... I mean, I would love to go with you and help, I just don't know if Edea will approve.'  
'Oh... I'd forgotten all about that stuff.' she slumped back in her seat. 'I'm gonna have a word with Cid. Right now! Sorry Rin, I can't wait any longer!' Selphie had jumped off the chair as soon as she'd sat on it, which made Rinoa laugh.  
'It's okay, just make sure to call me as soon as you hear from him!'  
'Of course!'

Selphie bounced on her feet while she waited for the elevator.  
Ding!  
She took a big step forward and tripped herself, balancing rather ungracefully on the tips of her toes to avoid both bumping into the person coming out of the elevator and falling on the floor.  
'Woooah!'  
The man held her shoulders. It was a familiar touch. Selphie's head jolted up and she was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes. They sparkled and wrinkled like their owner was making a bad attempt to hold back the laughter.  
'Irvine! Thanks.'  
'Hey Selph! Do you always throw yourself like that at boys? Careful, some of them are jerks.' he finally laughed.  
Selphie punched his stomach a little harder than necessary, which made him release the grasp he still had on her.  
'Like you!'  
'Ow! Not sure what hurt more, the punch or that comment.'  
'Outta the way' she grinned 'I need to go see Cid.'  
'Oh yeah? What're you going to ask him?'  
'I need a leave of absence, I wanna go to Trabia and help rebuild.'  
'Huh...' her words sunk into him and he took a few seconds to catch up. 'Good luck with that. I just got back from his office. Wanted to report back to Galbadia but the old man says nobody's going anywhere. Some shit about needing "all hands on deck". Someone needs to tell him a hovering building is -not- a ship!' Irvine cackled.  
'What? He can't do that! And... you can't do that!'  
'Of course he can. And what do you mean I can't?'  
'Because you have to go with me! Everyone has to go!' Selphie gestured vigorously to make her point.  
'Selphie...' he sighed inwardly, choosing his words carefully. 'I would help you if I could. Even if Cid gave us permission to go, I want to go to Galbadia just as much as you want to go to Trabia. It might not have been hit with missiles, but "hurricane" Seifer tore the place down. Plus, I'm not a SeeD so right now I don't even know my status.' He took one look at the girl's disappointed face. 'Hey, you wanna go for a walk?'  
'But... Cid...!' Selphie tried to argue but was met by a shaking head from the cowboy.  
'You're really gonna have to have better than that to convince him. Come on, let's have some ice-cream in Balamb.'


End file.
